


my tears ricochet

by missluthorr



Series: station miranda [6]
Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Major character death - Freeform, Song fic, kind of?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:26:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25622089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missluthorr/pseuds/missluthorr
Summary: Andrea’s dead but she’s still hurting.based in taylor swift’s new song: my tears ricochet
Relationships: Miranda Priestly/Andrea Sachs
Series: station miranda [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1043459
Comments: 19
Kudos: 62





	my tears ricochet

**Author's Note:**

> okay, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve cried to this song and in one of those crying sessions I had this idea... Anyway, I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes, english is not my first language

_ We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room.  _

Andrea felt like she couldn’t breath, she knew all these people were looking at Miranda, expecting her reaction but she knew the woman she loved wouldn’t give them this. Not this. 

She wanted to scream, to break someone’s neck… Anyone… Her own. 

In the end she did.

All of those people dressed in black, weeping like they knew her, like they loved her. No, she knew the truth, no one deserved to be here. 

Not even Miranda.

_ And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too _

_ Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe _

_ All the hell you gave me? _

Deep down the editor it’s not to fault for her death, no one is but herself, but she just wanted the pain the stop. Miranda’s rejection… Her mother’s rejection, her friends… Everyone sitting in here, crying like they didn’t push her to this. 

Andrea’s dead and she’s angry because her pain didn’t stop. She still loves the older woman, her mother, her friends… 

She wants them here, she curses them for being here. 

_ Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you _

_ 'Til my dying day _

Someone’s saying nice things about her, maybe it’s her sister she doesn’t care, she can’t take her eyes of Miranda. 

She didn’t know if she’d be here. 

She didn’t know if she’d be hurting. 

She’s glad she’s hurting. 

Andrea is not at peace and she doesn’t want Miranda to be too.

_ I didn't have it in myself to go with grace _

_ And you're the hero flying around, saving face _

_ And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? _

“I don’t want to ever see you again” 

That’s the last thing Miranda said to her and well, what can she say? She’s really good at following orders.

Why did do it?

Sometimes, in her foggines, she can’t even remember what they were fighting about. 

_ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed _

_ Look at how my tears ricochet _

It gives her pleasure to know Miranda won’t forget even if she does. 

_ We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean _

_ Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring _

Miranda is the last one to leave, even the press decided to give her this last moment, they’re still here, Andrea knows this, but they’re so far away that if Miranda wanted to say something she could. 

She doesn’t know if she wants her too. 

She’s so mad, even dead, this woman is making her blood boil. How? 

Doesn’t she get peace? Is this the price? 

Why is she in pain? 

“I love you” Miranda whispers and puts her ring back in her finger, when had she taken it off? “I was waiting for you to come back” 

Miranda turns around and really, she doesn’t want to stay and watch herself be buried. 

She follows her. 

_ You know I didn't want to have to haunt you _

_ But what a ghostly scene _

_ You wear the same jewels that I gave you _

_ As you bury me _

At home, is it still home? 

At home everything’s changed. 

She doesn’t see the girls and she’s glad for it, she’s not sure she wouldn’t break down at the sight of the women she considers her children. 

Why did she do it? 

She can’t think of reason, she was hurting and she wanted to stop it. 

Why did she do it? 

“Why?” Miranda whispers into nothing, is she seeing her? No, Miranda’s crying into her hands. 

Was this what she wanted? 

No, not really. 

_ I didn't have it in myself to go with grace _

_ 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave _

_ And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? _

_ Cursing my name, wishing I stayed _

_ Look at how my tears ricochet _

She hates herself. 

She’s haunting the woman she loves, she feels her pain everyday. 

Miranda hates herself too, on that, they’re equal. 

The editor is not eating or sleeping, soon she learns the girls aren’t speaking with her. 

They blame her for Andrea’s passing and she wants to scream it’s not her fault, it’s not. 

Even though she said it was. 

Why did she do it? 

She tries to move on, she looks for the light, for God, a sign, anything. She begs and she screams but no one comes. 

She’s a ghost. 

_ And I can go anywhere I want _

_ Anywhere I want, just not home _

Miranda talks to her sometimes, when she’s really drunk, it feels normal, good. 

It’s the only time she’s not hurting, only time they can meet. 

Some days she’s missing her, begging Andrea to come back, she says she’s sorry. 

Other days she’s angry at her, Miranda yells a lot on those days. 

Andrea prefers her anger.

She can relate to that. 

Why did she do it? 

_ And you can aim for my heart, go for blood _

_ But you would still miss me in your bones _

“I miss you” Miranda whispers in her bed, she’s almost asleep. 

“I miss you too” Andrea says but the woman doesn’t hear it. 

“Why do I still feel you here?” Miranda sobs alone.

Why did she do it?

_ And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky) _

_ And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies) _

Andrea wants to go away, to fade away. 

Being stuck here, watching Miranda waste away was never the plan. 

Then why did she do it? 

Was it not to cause her pain? 

She was selfish, she was childish and she was hurting and in a minute she made this decision. 

Andrea didn’t think this through, she remembers now, throwing her car off a cliff. 

How cliché of her. 

_ I didn't have it in myself to go with grace _

_ And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves _

Miranda’s not okay and she can’t watch this anymore. 

She wants to be the sunny, optimistic girl that Miranda loves but she can’t. She can’t because she’s in pain. 

She’s dead and she’s hurting and she did this to herself and to the people that loved her.

She prays but it doesn’t work, there’s no other side, no angels, no other spirits. There’s just her, alone, rotting in the house she was once happy in. 

_ You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same. _

She goes back to her grave, she sits there for a what it feels like forever.

Cassidy comes to visit sometimes, tells her about her life, she has a son now and she’s named him Andrew. 

She says Miranda misses her and Andrea cries at that, she’s done this, and why? 

The pain doesn’t go away. 

She misses Miranda too. 

_ You turned into your worst fears _

Andrea’s not angry anymore, she starts to forgive herself. 

She hopes one day Miranda can forgive too. 

_ And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed _

One day she’s picking at the grass when she hears it, her name. 

Looking around Andrea doesn’t see anyone but she feels it, it’s calling her, whatever it is, she needs to go. 

She holds herself to the ground, to her grave but it’s time. She needs to move on but why can’t she? 

Why did she do it? 

She has no answer and the voice goes away, it’s not her time yet. 

_ Look at how my tears ricochet _

It’s only when a much older Miranda stops by, lay down roses at her feet and whispers. 

“I love you” Looks at her right in eyes if that’s even possible “You can let go now, I forgive you” 

She feels it then, tears rip her apart.

She feels her pain leaving her, she’s light, she’s so light. 

She hears the voice again. 

It’s time. 

She turns around and appears to Miranda who just gasp at the sight of her younger lover. 

“Andrea?” She’s in shock “My God, Andrea” 

Andrea smiles, like she hasn’t in forever. 

Why did she do it?

“I never meant to hurt you” Is all she can say before following the voice “I love you, I still do”

“Wait for me” Miranda chokes

“It’s all I’ve been doing” She realizes it now, it’s Miranda’s time too “Come with me” 

The voice urges them and Miranda doesn’t falter, they hold hands and she sobs at the contact. 

“Don’t look back” She whispers and smile, she’s finally free. 

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think


End file.
